I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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