i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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