dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
