hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
