Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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