So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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