You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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