Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
