There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
