I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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