You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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