He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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