dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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