Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize