My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
