Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just had sex on a roof
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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