I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
