I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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