Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
