I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize