i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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