I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
