Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
