Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
