sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
