I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
