Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
