We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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