mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Congratulations! We have a period
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