Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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