Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
