Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I party with great urgency now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
