Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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