Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
