I feel like abortions should bother me more
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
