so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
