Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
soo... how was my night?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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