If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize