I'm jealous of your bromance
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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