wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
