It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
