My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
