We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize