bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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