So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
