You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
