If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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