And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Randomize
