Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
