I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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