im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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