omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
