I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
