I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
