It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Every concussion has its silver lining
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
