I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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