Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
