im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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